Finding ME in 18 days


It’s the month of May and my birthday is 19 days away, well actually it’s 18 days away. I’m still up from yesterday and the time is now 4:50 am so 18 days left before I’m the BIG 32 (Yayyy!!!).  In my 32 years of living, I still kind of don’t know who I am and where I’m going, but I’m getting there and my goal RIGHT NOW is to Find ME in the next 18 days.

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While I was up yesterday I wrote all day about starting my blog over, changing my blog name and I searched for new layouts and logos to help me brand myself.  I could not pick a layout to save my life.  I tried editing some videos I previously recorded but haven’t published.  FREAKIN’ FAIL.  As always, my laptop crashed for a couple of minutes.  I should throw this old fart away but something inside me tells me not to LOL, but anyway I could not get anything right..as if I ever can.

After getting frustrated with everything and smoking half of a box of Newport 100s, I closed my laptop, got up off of the bed and walked into the bathroom to have a look in the mirror at myself.  I realized my hair was the same as it was from 3 days ago and needed to be fixed.  I hadn’t been feeling well since Thursday.  Today was my first day out of bed so I grabbed some old extensions and went to work on this head of mine.  After my hair was done, I moved right on to my makeup.

Makeup ALL DONE, Hair ALL FLY…Time to wake up the kids for school!IMG_0119

It’s kind of hard waking the kids for school, but this morning my son was already awake and dressed with his backpack on his back ready to go.  “Seriously Jr”is what I was thinking.  If that lil guy is up and ready to go then either it’s going to be hot as hell outside or it’s going to snow LOL.  It’s just not possible for my kids to wake up for school and not move like snails.  I wake them up at 6:30 with clothes already laid out and it still takes them 2 hours to get ready.  How many of you parents out there have this same exact problem?

TIME FOR SCHOOL & WORK

As I’m taking the kids to school we jam to radio hits and talk about what kind of day we all desire to have.  Once they’re dropped off I head back home to play around in what I call my studio (where I record and do all my videos and work).  I didn’t stay in the studio long today.  I took a few selfies                        IMG_0123

and jotted down some ideas but I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything.  This is why I hardly post on my blog or my other social media sites.

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I’ve  realized that I waste most of my time writing out my ideas and plans but I never act on it out of fear of not being good enough, and I hate for something not to be right.  I have hundreds of post and videos that have to be edited and published but I drag ass everyday out of fear……but that all changed TODAY involuntarily.

What Was Accomplished Today?

*Hair

*Makeup

*Vlog

*Changed website layout

*Posted to Blog

*Selfies (everyday)

So I learned today from my own self that If you just Get Up and do whatever it is you have your mind set to do, it will manifest itself.  As long as you sit around jotting down ideas on paper or drawing out outlines you will never put your ideas to action.  Sometimes it’s not about ideas. Sometimes it’s about being random and being true to yourself…that’s when the REAL Beauty starts to show and the real creativity begins.  I take thousands of pictures.  So many that I have a container full of SD cards, and  I record everyday…so I have the content. I just need to trust myself and not get frustrated with the editing and quit.

Today I didn’t quit.

Today I found that REALBeauty in ME !!!  You can do it too!

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If there’s anything you’ve put off doing for quite some time, go back to it or try something else.  Do anything except for NOTHING!

If you feel like you’ve lost yourself, take some time and FIND YOU Today!

 

 

BTW…

Blog layout is finished, temporary logo is finished, post for today is finished and it’s time to do it all again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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